1a – First Ball

No player can be dismissed first ball.The purpose of this law is to ensure your sports-averse cousin will at least feel compelled to field for a little bit after you get him out 2nd ball.

1b – Auto Wickie

The ‘auto wickie’ playing conditions vary from ground to ground. Some venues will use a physical structure, such as a wheelie bin or tool shed, and others may be blessed with gardens that can make for entire slips cordons.Should your venue lack these options, the general rule used will be ‘nick it and you’re gone’, as the auto-wickie never drops a catch.

1c – One Hand One Bounce

The Law is only enforceable when the fielder has his other hand occupied with a beverage contained in a glass vessel or aussie taco (see ‘sausage in bread’), or if the catch is spectacular enough to elicit an ‘OH!’ from at least one other player.The One Hand, One Bounce law ensures that batsman will attempt to keep the ball along the ground, therefore not losing them in the neighbour’s gum tree or down a gutter in the street.

1d – No LBW

The bowler can never be trusted to form an impartial view on the bona fides of any LBW appeal.Therefore, an appeal for LBW is automatically declined the moment the appeal begins.

1e – Six And Out

Selfishly hitting the ball over the fence shall lead to the following procedure being enacted:

  1. The batsman shall be awarded 6 runs; and
  2. The batsman will be deemed Out; and
  3. The batsman must recover the ball. In the event that the ball is unrecoverable, the following procedure shall be enacted:

1) A new ball shall be found; and

2) Should a new ball be found, the batsman who lost the previous ball will no longer be allowed to bat; and

3) Should no new balls be available, all players shall gather in front of the BBQ and remind the batsman what a terrible human being he is.

1f – DRS

Any child under the age of 14 may ask for a review from an adult once per innings. Tears are known to be an effective way to sway the review in your favour.  A person of any age may ask for a review by the host if at a BBQ. Law not applicable in India

1g – Run Out

A player will be deemed Run Out if the fielding team throws down either wicket with the batsman out of his ground. If no umpire is present, the fielding team shall determine whether the batsman has made his ground. If there are no stumps at the bowler’s end, the ‘magic wickets’ rule shall come into effect, with all throws to be considered direct hits.


2a – Standard Over

The bowler will continue to bowl until either:

  1. The batsman asks how many balls left. The bowler is to reply “two” and finish out the over; or
  2. Another fielder asks how many balls left. The bowler is to reply “two” and finish the over.


2b – Legal Delivery

Underarm bowling is acceptable only for those under 15 years of age.

The bowling crease shall be loosely marked, either by a crack in the driveway concrete or an imaginary mark on the grass.


3a – Tip and Run

When the batsman touches the ball with the bat, regardless of the strike of the ball, the batsman is obligated to run.

3b – Runners

Batsman can utilise a runner when:1) Batsman is a father;2) Batsman weighs over 100 kilograms3) Batsman has a legitimate injury preventing running between wickets.When engaging a runner they must be under the age of 14.


4a – Esky

The esky shall be placed at either end.The esky shall be filled with ice and beer.The esky shall act as the wicket.

4b – Balls

Only tennis balls shall be allowed.Taped tennis balls may be used where the pitch is rated dead

4c. Dog

Dogs are to be treated like a loose impediment in golf.Any ball caught by the dog is Out.Any slobber on the ball is bad luck and must be taken care of by the bowler.Should the dog take off with the ball for an extended period, the batsman is permitted to take a maximum of four runs.

4d – Bat

Only bats with well worn grips, a fake signature or a Gray Nicolls moniker may be used.Visiting players may bring their own equipment.Double scoops are prohibited.


5a – End of Match

The game shall be deemed over when:

  1. The sausages are ready; or
  2. All the balls have been lost; or
  3. An Aussie century beckons on the TV; or
  4. Bad light stopped play

5b – Property Damage:

All flower damage shall be deemed to have occurred prior to the start of play. Depending on the host, the same excuse will apply to dents in the shed and/or car.